rather be in hades "maybe my prayers weren't answered because maybe god doesn't exist."
Your posting has been answered very thoroughly by the comments made by the people who have responded. Your comments above says it all. You are still at the ‘maybe’ stage.
I would add that you don’t believe in a God in the sense that you don’t believe he is doing his job properly, so you don’t trust or like God. You consider him a failure. You are starting to doubt whether a personal God as defined by major religions exists - that is an objective being with feelings and rules.
Next you will have to consider whether there is an impartial, invisible presence pervading the universe manifests as life? If you decide there is no such presence you will be an atheist.
You will be an atheist when all anger has gone; all questioning has ceased; when you get up in the morning and enjoy your day, forgetting to think about a bogey-man in the sky.